Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 




"Mama?" A tiny voice slipped quietly through the room. Between her and the woman in the bed an impenetrable forest of metal stands, tubes and blinking machinery stood guard.

"Come in sweetheart, it's alright." Her mother's voice warmed the space, shushing the noisy equipment. "Mama's alright baby, come see me."

Clad in a pink dress and knee socks, the girl of no more than five years bravely stepped away from the safety of the door frame. Big blue eyes focused and fixed on her mother lying in the hospital bed, and her legs carried her along that line of focus until she could reach out and touch her hand.

"There, there, Mama's all better now." She held her daughter's hand gently, but firmly. "The doctors made me all better. Come. Climb up here and cuddle with me." She tried her best not to wince, shuffling a little to one side to make room. She held her one arm away so her daughter wouldn't become tangled in the web of cords snaking away from her body.

The girl climbed cautiously up the side of the bed, nearer the foot so as to avoid the side rail, and then crawled up beside her mother and lay her head gingerly on her chest.

"Did they really take out your broken heart Mama?" She barely breathed the words.

"Yes dear, they really did."

The girl put her ear tentatively to her mother's chest, listening for the familiar thrub thrubbing, but there was no such noise.

"Mama?" She started and stopped.

"Yes dear?"

"Mama, can you still love me now that they took your heart away?" The words were brave, but her voice quivered.

Her mother wrapped her arms around her baby girl. "Of course I still love you. My love for you isn't caught up in some broken old heart, it comes from everywhere." She suppressed a gasp as the little girl squeezed her back tightly.

The girl contented herself snuggling quietly a time.

"Mama," she said finally, "your love doesn't rumble like thunder like it used to." She pressed one ear again to her mother's breast, covering the other ear with a free hand. The sound rising up wasn't the familiar steady beating she had grown with, but rather a different sound that ebbed and flowed. She squeezed her eyes shut and listened to breath being drawn in, and pushed out, and to the rhythmic rushing that kept time.

"Mama, your love whooshes like the ocean. Like the great big wide ocean." She lay there, eyes closed and smiling, liking very much the new sounds her mother made.

Her mother lay still too, her tears also like the ocean, but adding no sound of their own.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconsrsmith:

Author's Comments

From Wikipedia: Flash Fiction - 'Flash fiction differs from vignettes in that the works contain the classic story elements: protagonist, conflict, obstacles or complications, and resolution. However, unlike a traditional short story, the limited word length often forces some of these elements to be unwritten, that is, hinted at or implied in the written storyline.'

In the case of 365tomorrows - Flash Fiction is a story of ideally 500 words, and new in the 3rd year a 600 word maximum.

I've always been fascinated with the connection of mind to body, and the concept of the soul and how being able to migrate from our flesh-selves into something more long lived would impact us. It's a question that's asked in the strangest of circumstance, and the answers are always fascinating.

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-05-10

Love Sounds by `SRSmith is not only a powerful piece of flash fiction, it also serves as a succinct reminder to appreciate our mothers (and not just for one day of the year). Happy Mother's Day! (Featured by ^fllnthblnk)

Critiques


Thank you for your Critique

You are not logged in.

Comments


love 6 6 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfaeriecrone:
I think that is lovely. My husband had an aortic valve replaced last Spring and he is infinitely more alive in ways we did not notice lacking.

I think body speaks for mind more eloquently than thoughts. Such is my experience with yoga and with my students.

--
Artists are magical helpers. Evoking symbols and motifs that connect us to our deeper selves, they can help us along the heroic journey of our own lives.
Joseph Campbell
:iconjlithium:
So simple, but so beautiful. I always appreciate your work for its quality, not quantity.

--
Ever drifting down the stream--
Lingering in the golden gleam--
Life, what is it but a dream?


-Lewis Carroll
:iconsrsmith:
Thanks very much for the comment and the :+fav:!

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
:iconsrsmith:
Thanks for wonderful comment.

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
:iconfaeriecrone:
:frail:

--
Artists are magical helpers. Evoking symbols and motifs that connect us to our deeper selves, they can help us along the heroic journey of our own lives.
Joseph Campbell
:iconcloudtographer:
The idea of taking out a broken heart--a good one for science fiction. :)

--
"...the great tragedy of the world is not that people suffer, but how much they miss when they suffer. Nothing is quite as depressing as wasted pain, agony without an ultimate meaning or purpose." ~Fulton Sheen
:iconsrsmith:
Thanks!
:-)

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
:iconladycrimson:
The little girl's lines are so well thought out.
This story brought a tear to my eye. Lovely.

--
I swim a sea of skin, afraid to drown in flesh...
:iconsrsmith:
Thanks very much! Not my usual style, so I'm glad it worked.

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
:iconheartiful:
Wow that's really good, I'm touched and impressed! Makes you feel like you're there witnessing it indeed. Keep up the excellent work, and congradulations on getting a daily deviation award! You diserve it!

--
"Sweeney Todd! with barbers this hot, you'll shoot your own Boyfriend!" - Envious-Chiko

I love my sister :heart: :glomp: :cuddle: :manhug: :hug: :love:
February 16th, 2007, the best day of my life
May 23rd,2008, the worst day of my life

Details

April 7
2.7 KB
5.4 KB
315×51

Statistics

178
350 [who?]
4,345 (10 today)
24 (0 today)

Site Map